Dissolution of marriage is a challenging affair for both the parties involved. But it is the child (or children, as the case may be) who suffers the most irreparable consequences that sometimes lasts for lifetime (Amato and Booth, 2001) . Irrespective of the difference in social strata, personal or social customs and preferences, children endure great hazards in those testing times. Having more than 1.25 million divorces per year in the United States has alarmed the legal authorities to reconsider their position, highlighting the need to understand the interests of the infamously called “children of divorce.”
- Progressing towards a better Law terminology
All standard books addressing the issues about family laws will be stuffed with words like “custody“, “visitation“, etc. Whether this terminology is by the latest amendments or not is a matter of intense debate.But for sure, these terms are as pessimistic as the idea of divorce itself. UNIFORM CHILD CUSTODY JURISDICTION AND ENFORCEMENT ACT
(ss. 61.501-61.542) attempts to replace these annoying words with better ones that do not imply any discrimination or express any bias towards a single party (mother or father). Apart from conveying a fairness between the parents, this legal move can be seen as a standard attempt to initiate a more fruitful relationship between the children and both of the parents. Without generalizing the statement, we have found that both the parents can and should contribute towards the child’s psychological and material needs to promote healthy growth.
Children of Divorce are special beings: Make them feel that.
While the sole idea remains concentrated on improving the child’s overall growth and experience, law-framers have to ensure that the modern context and evolving lifestyle is kept in consideration while formulating the required directives. Unless that the sole custody causes detrimental effects on the children, Shared parental responsibility has been and continues to be the usual and the acceptable standard. Also, it is essential to define a benchmark to emphasize on the physical, mental and the moral health of the parents. You cannot expect a flower to bloom well if the plant is itself ill or perturbed.
Having said that, the quality of interactions that accommodates longer sessions to nourish the relationship between the kids and the guarding parents is wanted in all such cases. Except a few cases, parents are the best persons to devise a working plan to meet their time-sharing responsibilities for their kids. Even as a divorced couple, people can chalk out a mutually convenient strategy to
- cultivate a more impressing relationship between them and their children
- understand the developmental requirements and address the child’s sensitivities
- increase affirmative and reliable communication and thus create an emotionally secure family environment
- Children need your both the parents’ care.
There are only two fundamental principles regarding time-sharing with children: one, the child’s needs are above the parents’ needs, and two, follow the first principle religiously. One should try to do away with all conflicts with the spouse (divorced) so as to provide a fertile environment for the child to grow. Grych and Fincham found out that conflict can have a noticeable impact on the self-esteem, social competence and behavior of the child. Regardless of the personal incompatibility, both the mother and the father should take responsibility to enhance child’s lifestyle with special attention towards:
- social conduct and adjustments
- psychological stability
- academic and extracurricular prospects etc.
- Seek professional help
In many cases, parents have found themselves unable and ill-advised to help their kids understand the reasons for divorce. In those very cases, both academic research and statistical figures agree that children have demonstrated withdrawal symptoms and self-injury. Parents should be prepared for such uncalled actions, and in case there is a need, one should always look for professional assistance. A practicing lawyer can help you handle the situation better by explaining to you the legal implications and advantages in a much greater detail than anyone else.
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